Greatest gifts ever

When you think about the greatest gifts you’ve ever gotten for Christmas, odds are you think about that bike you got when you were a kid, or the train set you swore you’d never get, maybe your first Nintendo system or lord knows what GI Joe base you always drooled over in toy catalogues. That same euphoria you had as a kid is somewhere deep inside you and you just need to get the right gifts to evoke the right reactions. Maybe you wanted your wife to dress as Mrs. Clause and that gets you going. Maybe you wanted a new car. Maybe you wanted that iPod people so rave about, even if you insist on listening to eight tracks and vinyl. Maybe you even wanted that fat bonus from your job.

For me, this Christmas has brought me two of the best presents ever, apart from a supporting cast that remind me just how lucky I am in this life. This last week, I had one of my two best friends over for part of the weekend and the last times he’s been here, we’ve made a point of going to surf as much as his stay allows. That means waking up at 7 no matter what, and going for a surf. This past week we went surfing twice. Both times the conditions were excellent and the second time I was quite mellow and relaxed. That’s because the day before, I’d ridden two of the best waves in my home spot and he got to see both of the waves on first row.

There’s something about getting a great wave that is exhilarating. Having people you know and surf with see your wave makes it all that much better. For one of the waves, I was being asked if I was going and my answer consisted of a simple hell yeah. When I dropped a weird warpy ledge, the whole wave threw over me and a dry five foot barrel let me traverse it for about 4 seconds. I passed about three sections and thought I wasn’t going to make it more than once, but Father Christmas proved me wrong and let me out of the slab with a gentle hiss of barrel. A while later, another wave came by with my name on it and yet again I was asked whether I was going or not. My reply was I’M GOING and a few seconds later I launched into one of the biggest air rolls I’ve ever thrown at my home spot, and that’s saying something. Once again I had the joy of having had good friends seeing me launch into oblivion and land the move and when I think about it, Christmas Day just couldn’t get any better for me, but thanks to friends and family it did.

Here’s hoping Santa was just as jolly with you.

Cheers.

Fountain of Weird: Iron Beer

Who owuld have thought such an interesting carbonated brew would come from Cuba. As far as weird sodas go, I can't go to Miami and not have an Iron Beer. Simply can't and it's a rule of thumb, index, ring, middle or pinky finger. One of my favorite sodas is just not as accesible as you'd like it to be mainly because it's from Cuba and if you haven't noticed, the US and that beautiful island can't seem to get along too well. Actually, the company is based off Miami but it doesn't have a massive distribution scheme and apart from southern Florida, I have no idea where you can get your hands on it.

Political agendas and socio cultural conflicts aside, this soda is an original in every sense of the word because its taste seems like some strange combination of flavors. Almost as if you'd taken three sodas and mixed it all in one peculiar drink. Some people say it's a fruitier Dr. Pepper and that's not a bad assessment, but if you ask me, it's a mix of Kola Champagne (a Puerto Rican sugar bomb guaranteed to make your jaw hurt from the sugar rush), Orange Fanta and maybe a dash and a half of some strong lemon soda.

Carbonation is top notch and you'll definitely get your burp on. For me, it is best drunk straight from the can and super cold temps so as to avoid the use of ice that might water down the peppy drink.

So next time you're at Miami International, be sure to swing by La Carreta restaurant or ask someone who looks hispanic, where you can find an Iron Beer and bottoms up.

cheers

Tiempo de Parapapapapa

Si algo caracteriza a Puerto Rico durante las Navidades son tres cosas. Las mejores fiestas de Navidad en el mundo, la gente más ruda en la carretera en todo el año y la abundancia lluvia de plomo que hemos tenido como plaga navideña más de lo que quisiéramos.

Por suerte se ha creado una consciencia social o al menos el aguaje de una y por al menos dos o tres años se han reducido los tiros que se lanzan al aire y las lesiones y muertes que vienen con esto. Pero como anda la ignorancia, la intolerancia y la enfermedad mental este año, veremos si se continuamos la buena racha de no llevar los tiros al aire o si terminaremos un año no tan bueno con noticias para continuar poblando los titulares de nuestros periódicos.

En serios, como andan las cosas últimamentes no me sorprende que cada día tengo menos y menos ganas de salir a janguear. Ir a cena a San Juan te puede ganar el que te utilicen de escudo humano contra una balacera, estudiar en Toa Baja te puede ganar el que seas el jamón del sandwich en una guerra de pandillas y trabajar en un banco te puede garantizar el que te pongan una pistola a la cara y ni puedan conseguir a los que robaron.

Perdonen el cinismo y la carencia de espíritu navideño pero nada más de poner las decoraciones de Navidad en Walgreen's y la gente pega a guiar como más becerros de lo que son y a perder cualquier pisca de urbanidad que nos quedaba como un colectivo metropolitano.

De seguro tenía que haber algún momento en donde mirar al cielo para admirar la estrella de Belén era costumbre. Cómo llegamos de eso a no poder estar en la calle porque algún imbécil se creía guerrillero y haló al gatillo en una dirección lo más lejos de él posible, no lo sé. Pero ahí le vamos.

Injured in perfection

So no one likes to get sick, or get injured. That's more than natural because we should all be trying to be enjoying ourselves creating memories that will compensate for the endless hours we invest in our respective dayjob torture. Being a surfer has its definite pluses but also has its drawbacks.

On the positive side, surfing is liberating, fun, exercise, good for your health, great for the soul and something I plan on doing as long as I am able to. The negative side is that it depends on weather conditions often times and getting the right tide, the right swell, the right wind direction and the right rhythm for your surfing is not exactly easy. Which makes getting injued when it's epic that much more painful.

Last Sunday I was at the beach, the conditions were blissful to put it lightly and I'm bummed at myself for not having gotten up sooner (who knows if I would have been able to avoid the injury). But I was going to make the most of it. First wave, a bit tentative and got barreled..... on a tentative wave... so you can imagine the smile, the satisfaction and the idea that I was going to get my fix and then some... then something happened... call it silly, odd, stupid, unfair, illogical or just plain bad luck but when I was going back out, look towards my right while paddling and there went my neck... a spasm as I'd never felt before because it wasn't massive but it definitely felt wrong and I thought it would pass..... which it hasn't, and it's been more than 24 hours since the event.

I insisted on staying out and took five more waves which probably aggravated the injury but I didn't care because I was about to cry. Even with a bum neck, I got two more barrels an air and a roll.... that last one really sucked for my neck.

As I sit here, writing against what's probably best for me because I'm too desperate to continue laying in bed, I ask myself if this is just the first of a series of injuries and physical setbacks, because I'm not old, but I'm not getting younger.

I also realize that not being at work really doesn't bother me that much and I totally understand that I'm just there to earn a living even if it's the first job I actually enjoy. But the thing that bugs me is that I didn't get hurt when surf sucked, when I was shopping, when I was working or any other situation where it would have hurt less... no, I got hurt when it was epic and the conditions I've been begging for months upon months. I get to realize that it's not fate, or life, or anything working against me, it's just something that happened but like most humanity, I need to attribute some extra meaning to the event simply because of the circumstances and because you at least want an answer of why something like that has to happen, even if it's a little blip in the grand scheme of life.

And I guess it just helps me put things in perspective. Why should I get hung up on one moment, if my entire life is but a blip that I really should make the most of.

Just something to think about.

Cheers

Fountain of Weird: Manhattan Special

Take espresso, soda and a truckload of sugar, mix it up, bottle it and that's Manhattan Special Espresso soda. As far as weird sodas go, the unique thing about Manhattan Special is that it TRULY tastes like freshly brewed espresso coffee expressed in a chilled soda expression. Is this a good thing? Well depends on how much you like coffee and on how high your palette's sugar threshold is. Mine is pretty ridiculously high and I struggled to finish the bottle because I swear it was so sweet that I felt the underpart of my tongue trembling and my jaw clenching.

So interesting, very, but delicious? Well to me it was a very interesting tasting experience, but I don't see myself buying a six pack soon. Maybe in a few years I'll be working long nights and need something to keep me up that isn't illegal and at that moment, I think I'll have another, but for now, show me the next bottle.

Cheers

Fountain of weird: Moxie Soda

I'm somewaht of a soda freak and any chance I get, I try any different soda I come across. The only thing that limits me is pretty much availability and I've known to finish a soda I don't like just for the sake of saying I gave it a bottle's worth of a shot.

Enter a few random sodas I've had and I decided to give my take on them, starting with the oldest of em all, Moxie Soda.

Since 1884, this cold syrup meets jäger delicatessen has been sold to soda lovers near and far and though it's no Coca Cola, well for lack of a better word, it has Moxie. By this I mean that this soda is not for middle ground people looking for something most people will enjoy. You either enjoy it and find it interesting or would rather use it to clean your toilet or driveway. Its flavor reminds me to the cola flavored Bottle Cap candy and I really enjoyed it. If you need another reason to enjoy it, then just look at the logo and product design. It's so oldschool that you can't help but go with the flow of the vintage brew.

So if you're looking for something that goes good with a bit of ice cream or after an especially hot afternoon and want it to have a kick, try and find this 19th century soda. It's not easy, but I honestly think it's worthwhile and then some.

Cheers

Pacquiao makes history

This will be the headline tomorrow in pretty much every newspaper in the Philippines. Manny Pacquiao, a little over an hour ago did the unthinkable, he won his 7th world title in his 7th weight division against one of the best in the business.

If anyone dismisses Manny's victory because of the beating Cotto took last year, please slap that person for trying to rain on the parade of one of the greatest boxers of all time. Regardless of what happens in the future, Manny Pacquiao has cemented himself in boxing history along the names of Louis, Frazier, Ali, Leonard, Duran, Haggler, Hearns, Armstrong and Robinson. He has given everything we need to see that he is the pound for pound best in boxing and #2 and beyond seems like it all comes after a huge dropoff.

I had thought Cotto was going to win via decision but unfortunately, greatness has other plans than to allow some boxing fan to predict an outcome. After a flash knockdown in the 3rd round, Manny gave Cotto the punch I knew could be a key to victory, a huge uppercut from which I don't think Cotto ever recovered. If you had any questions about Manny's speed and power at welterweight, consider yourself served.

Simply put, I have never seen a boxer like Manny Pacquiao and he's just showed that no matter what distractions he may find, when fight night comes around, there is nothing remotely there to suggest he can be phased or defeated. If losing the fight wasn't bad enough, it came via stoppage but to Cotto a nod of approval for his courage to insist on going out on his shield even though it was obvious he was going to lose.

To sum it up all: Manny was too fast, too powerful and just too good for the Puerto Rican icon. More on this later.

Cheers

Miguel Cotto vs Manny Pacquiao

Come November 14th, the boxing world is definitely going to have something to write about. Like it or not, this is probably the most important fight of the year because the results will help define, two careers, one weight division, future super fight matchups and the pound for pound rankings. Not bad for a night's work.

Miguel Cotto has been on pretty big stages the last few years, but nothing compares with the challenge and the event that awaits in midnovember. For Manny, it's just another mega fight. In the last four years, Manny has truly made the case that he's the best fighter in the world, facing the best opposition in his division and beyond. He has KO victories over Marco Antonio Barrera, Erik Morales, Ricky Hatton and Oscar De la Hoya, and his road to supremacy has a tough roadblock by the name of Miguel Cotto.

For his part, Miguel Cotto has had some of the toughest fights in any career his last couple of outings. He had a memorable win over Zab Judah, he got the nod in a decision over Joshua Clottey in a fight I think Clottey let go, he outboxed Shane Mosley in an excellent match, and let us not forget the dismantling at the hands and potential plaster of Antonio Margarito. While Manny's controversies have spawned from disputed decisions over Juan Manuel Marquez, Cotto's source of commentary comes from lackluster efforts against a mismatched Michael Jennings and that close fight with Clottey. He's gotten into trouble, he's cutting, but he's shown grit when he's had to. People raise the end of the Margarito fight because Cotto did not go out on his shield, but honestly, that stoppage did more for Cotto's career than taking a further beating from someone who might have had plaster in his gloves or just a stronger will that night, unfortunately we will never know.

So those are the intangibles. In short, Manny is in a hot streak while Cotto seems to be struggling to keep warm. Add to this a new coach for Cotto after his estranged relationship with Evangelista Cotto and there's a lot in the air that makes you question his state of mind.

So what are the tangibles? Well here's a rough list:

1. Cotto is the heavier puncher. Manny is the faster puncher.
2. Cotto is a real welterweight. Manny has shown no signs of being less effective at higher weight classes.
3. Manny is faster. Cotto has better fundamental boxing skills.
4. Cotto is methodical. Manny is dynamic.
5. Both like to punch. None like to fight going backwards.
6. Both have great resolve. Both have taken punishment to win.
7. Both like to put on a show. Neither likes to win by decision.
8. Both are great finishers.

Lest you be fooled by the latest results, this is a close match and Manny will not knock Cotto out in the first few rounds as Freddy Roach has predicted. There are flaws in his defense, but if Manny isn't careful, Cotto will catch him off guard.

If you want a boxer comparison in the style of Deadliest match, lets compare various elements of the two boxers.

Height/reach:

Pacquiao - 5'6" / 67"
Cotto - 5'7" / 67"

The one inch height advantage should be a moot point because cotto never fights tall and he's not that long in height or reach. This means that physically, they're pretty evenly matched.

Weight:

Manny's last fight was at 140. Against Oscar De la Hoya he looked as big as Oscar so this means he can bulk up and not be affected. Again, even matchup in regards to weight though Cotto is obviously the naturally bigger man. But we really won't know how they size up against each other until we see them in the ring.

Stance:

Manny: Southpaw
Cotto: predominantly Orthodox but is extremely effective from the Southpaw stance.

Stamina:

Manny: Rarely shows signs of considerably fading and is a physical specimen.
Cotto: Has at times shown fatigue but can fight through it effectively.

Style:

Manny: Explosive. Fast. Has added various punches to his repertoire.
Cotto: Mechanical. Systematic. Patient. Solid amateur background.

So it's two aggresors squaring off. Last I checked, the people who have done best against Manny pick their spots and pounce when they see an opportunity. Ok so how do they measure in standard punches thrown by boxers.

Jab:

Manny has a lightning quick jab. It works as a range finder for the straight left or as a setup for the hook.

Cotto has an excellent jab and being left handed, he can actually stun you with the punch. Against Mosley, one of the deciding factors in the fight HAD to be the Cotto jab.

Advantage Cotto.

Left Hook:

Being a southpaw, Manny's power comes mainly from his left hand and Ricky Hatton was knocked out cold with a left hook that he didn't see. It was a kind of uppercut hook and it landed right on the jaw with full force. Pretty much a guaranteed knockout.

Cotto's money punches also come from his left but normally to the body, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have one mean left hook.

Seeing as this is Cotto's bread and butter, he gets the advantage.

Right Hook

Manny has developed a magnificent right hook which he showcased beautifully against Ricky Hatton. Quite simply, Ricky didn't see a right hook that hit him perfectluy on the chin.

Cotto's right hooks are mainly if only exclusively to the body. It's good, but it isn't spectacular.

Advantage Manny.

Straight Cross

Manny's money punch. Like Vic Darchinyan a couple of divisions lower, Manny banks on his straight left hand. it's put away a who's who of hall of fame boxers and facing an orthodox boxer, there's no reason to belive it won't be a major factor in the fight.

Cotto has a good right hand as he showed especially against Ricardo Torres and is a weapon he will definitely need to make a case to beat Manny.

Advantage Manny by a mile.

Uppercut

I don't think I've seen Manny throw many uppercuts in his career which is a shame since Cotto is designed to be weak to an uppercut as seen in his fights against Margarito and Judah.

Cotto occassionally throws an uppercut and I also think he could benefit from including this punch for his fight. Especially from the right hand.

Advantage Cotto.

Body Punches

Manny mixes it up but he rarely commits to the body.

Cotto lives off body punching.

Advantage, Cotto by a mile.

Ok, so each boxer has his or her own repertoire of punches that could help them win... what are their keys to success? Following I'll offer five keys to success for each boxer.

For Manny:

1. Hook off the jab. Cotto was hurt in his fight against Demarcus Corley from a counter right hook and Manny can tag Cotto with this punch if Cotto drops his defense.

2. Either pick your spots or go all out. Being economical obviusly favors faster fighters (see Floyd Mayweather and Roy Jones) but Cotto does not like fighting going backwards and if Manny can push him back, he should be massively effective. For my part, I think he should be economical because he does not have the weight or height of Margarito to back Cotto at will.

3. Always circle to your left. Cotto is probably banking on banging to your body and it's there for him since you lead with your left side. Protect this or enjoy a painful knockout.

4. Double the jab before firing your straight left. The only combination I think Manny should abuse is this one. Varying between single and double jabbing before giving a straight left should throw Cotto off.

5. Look for the straight left and consider shooting the uppercut. Opposing stances are open to straight punches and Manny's left is superior to Cotto's right.


For Miguel Cotto:

1. I said use an uppercut, but I didn't say from where. If Miguel Cotto can land a right uppercut to the solar plexus of Pacquiao, he's going to be in the money and Manny will be on the canvas.

2. Pour the pressure on. You are the heavier man or at least should be, act your weight.

3. Vary the tempo of the jab. I'm not asking for Joe Calzaghe like jabbing, I'm saying tag with the jab until you find a good opening to commit to the punch.

4. Walk to your left and away from Manny's money punch. Manny has a good right hook, but it is not guaranteed to end a fight, unlike his left.

5. Buckle the body. Hooking with the left and right should be mandatory for Cotto if he wants to win and for great body punching, he has to be in close quarters, which doesn't benefit Manny's punching power. Step in and crack a rib or two.


So who do I think will win? Honestly, it's anyone's fight and it will come down to discipline, gameplan, adaptation, and resolve. Manny probably has a game plan but we haven't seen him adapt in case things aren't going to plan. Cotto is more than able to adapt and change styles and tactics. Manny has never come into a fight out of shape and if he does so this time, he will get knocked out. Simple as that. Cotto looks good and started training a full month before Pacquiao stepped into the gym. We'll see if this is a factor.

As for other factors, well let's take into account that Cotto cuts badly around the mouth and the eyes. Something tells me Manny should jab and hook to the left side of the face of Cotto and guess what, since it's a lefty vs a right, odds are heads will clash so don't be surprised if Cotto gets cut, I'm pretty much banking on it. There is tension in the Pacquiao camp and Cotto's camp looks relaxed though I've yet to hear something to suggest Joe Santiago is the exact trainer to get the best out of Cotto.

Now if you were betting on this fight, I'd pick Cotto for one simple reason... He's a 3 to 1 underdog and he DEFINITELY has the tools to win.

Regardless of who you bet on or root for, missing this fight is not an option.

Cheers

Open letter to Jermaine Taylor

Dear Mr. Taylor:

I begin this letter with Mr. Taylor out of respect, not because I think you're old and washed up. I state that as blatantly as possible because that's what most people seem to think and though your record could definitely make a case for this, I want to hold on to hope, because at one time, I really did think you were a hell of a fighter until you ran into Pavlik.

Oh there they go again, Pavlik this, Pavlik that. True, this might sound like a broken record, but since your losses to Pavlik, quite simply, you haven't been the same fighter. Is it mental, is it physical, is it spiritual? I really don't know but I am seeing a once prized fighter taking a ridiculous amount of punishment and I don't want to see him get hurt.

Wait, but didn't I say I wasn't writing you off? Well, I'm not. I'm just going to say that there is little or no reason to be fighting over your rightful weight division. Your fighting weight is 160 pounds and please let there be no doubt that THAT is your rightful weight. Regarding conditioning, and fading in fights, which unfortunately has happened, there are two options to this: working on your cardio, which definitely seems to not be working or going for broke early in a fight and gamble on a knockout. The first one as I said, hasn't worked and both Froch and Abraham scored very late stoppages. In both instances you were having trouble with their right hand punches and though you can't forget that a hook can knock you out, getting knocked out the same way twice, is something that shouldn't happen to any boxer that is as skilled as we've thought you are.

What used to be a crisp thudding jab has become a pecking range finder and the slingshot action we saw from your one two combination has been often times absent. Also, holding your hands low and making your opponent pay when they think they can tag you works for Roy Jones and Floyd Mayweather, but clearly, this isn't an option for you so either modify your defense or get ready to take another bad knockout in your next outting.

As it stands, you are still in the Super Six Tournament and you will be facing people who will want to cash in on three points for a knockout. I urge you, stand your ground and let them know you are a participant and not a sacrificial lamb, or seriouslys consider pulling out of the tournament in benefit of your health and your professional record.

Here's hoping for a selective memory that learns from mistakes and forgets knockout losses and that the Jermaine of old shows up for the next fight and lands 30% of his right hands and remembers to punish with his jab.

Cheers

Not So Super 6?

The Super 6 Super middleweight tournament has begun and early leaders aren't that surprising when you see the results.

The first bout of the tournament had Arthur Abraham facing Jermaine Taylor. Simply put, Jermaine Taylor, though clearly the best known participant of this tournament, was diving into deep waters and if he didn't know it, he found out, the hard way he's found out all too often lately. After dominating the first 5 rounds (which was expected), Arthur Abraham turned up the volume, dialed in his strategy and methodically picked apart the former world champion. If you've ever played a turn based RPG game, this fight at times definitely felt more like that than an actual contest. Abraham punched, went into a defensive posture, Jermaine attacked, finished his flurry, went into defensive posture, Abraham started the cycle again. This happened for most of the fight and it was frustrating if you wanted an all out slugfest or something where Jermaine would have showed a little more boxing savvy. But true to form, Abraham's defense was pretty tight though one dimensional. But seeing as how effective it was, you'd have to wonder just how many dimensions you need when one game plan works as well as it did. As the fight plodded on, the action came in spurts and Abraham let rounds be a lot closer than they had to be way too often. But from time to time, he gave a good hook or one of dozens of rights hands that simply couldn't miss for him and at a couple of times, Jermaine looked on shaky legs. Then, in the final round, when Jermaine was pretty much fighting to end the fight on his feet, Arthur Abraham had other ideas. After a flickering jab, Abraham showed why he's one of two fighters favored to win this fight by sledgehammering a right hand that sent Taylor to the canvas for the third time in his career.

By tournament rules, you get 0 points for a loss, 1 point for a draw, 2 points for a victory and an extra point if you score a knockout.

Second fight of the night had Carl Froch facing Andre Direll. Well in case you're a boxer and are looking for a place to showcase your dirty boxing, you should definitely go to England. Nothing against English boxers, but when I think about Kostya Tszyu being "dethroned" by Ricky Hatton, my memory differs from the glorious night English boxing fans remember and I have flashes of holding and hitting, head locks and rough tactics that would make Andrew Gollota proud. If you differ from this opinion, you clearly have the union jacket in your blood and will not listen to reason, because just in case, I never said Kostya won the fight, I'm just saying Ricky didn't fight clean. He obviously won the fight. Getting back to present day England,Carl the Cobra Froch did exactly what he had to do, bullied his way into the path of young Direll, tagged the young guy and took a victory that was close, but clearly his. What we can take from the fight though is that Direll hits back when he's hit but not hurt, and back pedals when he REALLY gets tagged. The kid clearly has skills and when he turned up the heat in the latter rounds, I found myself looking at a prospect that might have gotten the decision at some other locations. I still saw Froch winning, but Direll's handspeed was impressive and his power honestly surprised me, because it's not like Carl Froch can't take a punch. The lessons learned for Froch in case he meets another slick boxer, cut off the ring, throw the right with abandon, then fake the guy and throw a hook. Sounds easy, but it isn't. For Direll, all I can say is that I think he can bang with the likes of Froch and Ward, but should be careful with Abraham, Kessler and even Taylor.

So as the standings go, Abraham is in the lead with 3 points, Froch 2nd with 2 points and Taylor and Direll tied for 3rd with 0. Kessler will be fighting Ward next and for me, Kessler is the fighter I want to see the most. He looks like the super middleweight Klitschko if you ask me and I think he has the most crowd pleasing style of anyone in the tournament and my pick to face of Abraham in the final.

So was the first night of the Super 6 not so super? I think it scored a B overall but the most important thing to note is that this tournament might very well change the face of boxing. The best fighting the best in this division is an interesting prospect, but can you imagine a featherweight, lightweight or welterweight tournament? Think of the possibilities. The best fighting the best, no ducking allowed, who you draw is who you fight and who you fight is eventually going to be who the crowd wants to see fight. If that isn't what Floyd Mayweather needs to truly make a case for pound for pound supremacy, I don't know what is.

Carta abierta al Departamento de Hacienda

“A reclamar los intereses.”

Eso es lo que dice el artículo de El Nuevo Día en torno al millar de personas que entienden que se le deben unos chavitos debido a que recibieron cheques emitidos luego del 31 de julio por la misma cantidad que le indicaba su planilla… y para la mayoría no va a cambiar. Aunque la reputación de vagos y quedados es popular el describir a los puertorriqueños, por cuan cierta o falsa sea, la reacción de apatía en torno a los ingresos no se debe a falta de deseo por reclamar lo nuestro. Esto no es una lucha de estatus, una pelea por los derechos humanos ni el reclamo por la vida; es simplemente evidencia adicional que el gobierno de Puerto Rico y sus agencias utilizan los medios para su propio bien, manipulan información y suben esperanzas para apaciguar la ira de tener que esperar de sobra por el dinero que se nos debe.

Aún hoy 4 de septiembre se andan procesando planillas y por cuánto insistan que son sólo aquellas que tienen problemas matemáticos, no queda duda alguna de que hay varias personas que entregaron su planilla a tiempo y andan pillados porque como muchos, cometieron el error de contar con ese dinero. El problema de esta situación y la razón por la cual muchas personas no van a “reclamar lo suyo” es que los intereses que en algún momento fueron el 6% de la planilla, que para muchos pudiese sobrepasar los $100 (y en estos tiempos sí que vale el refrán redundante de “100 pesos son 100 pesos”), terminaron siendo un doceavo de esa cantidad ya que el 6% es lo que uno puede recibir si pasa un año. Para ponerlo más en arroz y habichuelas, lo que iba ser una ayudita terminó siendo una cantidad que no da ni para llenar la mitad del tanque de gasolina.

Es simplemente otro caso del asterisco. Si no leíste los legales, pues mala tuya. El problema es que se nos vendieron villas y castillos, se explicaron las cosas superficialmente y una vez más, anota el gobierno, porque por veinte trapos de pesos, muchas personas no van a salir a la calle a gastar su hora de almuerzo o pasar el mal rato de bregar con una agencia de gobierno, ya que por lo general, estas se nutren de energía y tiempo, consumiendo ambos y dejando sólo un bagazo de mal humor y el semblante pelado de un chinche. No son faltas de ganas, es decir que no vale la pena y dejar que el gobierno se embolsille nuestro dinero, porque de $20 en $20, se llegan a miles y millones, que en vez de emplearse para pagar las agencias del gobierno antes de que tengan que cerrar operaciones nuevamente por falta de capital para pagar nómina, primero se usarán para pagar la dieta de un senador goloso o a remodelar el próximo Capitoilet.

Pero pues, probablemente es que no entiendo el proceso, las cosas no son tan simples como uno se piensa y aún estamos sufriendo las consecuencias de gobiernos anteriores. En otras palabras, el mismo cuento de siempre y como buen puertorriqueños, responderemos con un “pues, que se va a hacer”.

Existential Rant #1

Morning commutes are truly the purgatory between freedom and salaried slavery. It is the time when your thoughts are truly your own and interruptions are limited to subway stops, lane changes or any particular activity related to your preferred method of transportation. Images and words simmer in your still loading mind and things become clearer while at the same time confusing. Mental chatter phases in and out and you realize so many things that you’ll forget in the coming minutes. Universal epiphanies abound but you have no way of recording it and it’s sobering in the sense that while prepping up to enter the routine, your mind revel s in the river of thought that soon will be honed into a stream. Thought after thought churns and you don’t care about opinions or hearsays or anything. You just are, the world is, the universe will be. Anything is possible and the only thing sacred is this revelatory moment where you grasp the aether, drink of life and acquiesce to the mores of the mundane.

Love becomes even more abstract but strangely tangible, as does happiness, dejectedness, frustration or despair. You realize your happy or not and you can kind of figure things out because you’re still half asleep and your defenses are down. It’s too hard to face yourself when you’ve had your morning coffee and your shot of adrenaline from the first phone call, email or job scheduled for the morning. It is your job to not look past any of these obstacles but to rummage in the unconscious that you’re so eager to leave behind so you can snuggle in the cozy repose of the familiar.

Before you are bombarded by adverts and messages, appreciate the lucid brutality of your unawakened self. Swill the sour taste out of your mind and disorganize your life to the point where you really grasp what matters in your life. Only in chaos can some things really become clear, and though frightening, it is liberating.

It’s ok to hate yourself a little, just don’t forget to also love yourself. The point being that you need to appreciate your virtues while willing yourself to remedy the things that bring you down a level in the evolutionary staircase. So take a step in the right direction, whatever that may be for you, and forget to think to truly come in contact with brilliance.

Resolution Report!

Fifth installment in the Resolution Reports. Am I behind? You bet your ass, but these will come out as they have to come out. Period. It’s been a while and a lot of numbers have changed but cans till make further progress, let’s see if I can keep it up til year’s end.

PHYSICAL

Bicep Curls
2,330 / 5,000


Butterfly curls
2,330 / 5,000


Pushups
2,330 / 5,000


Sit-ups
5,200 / 10,000


Jumping Jacks
6,700 / 10,000


Squats
3,975 / 10,000


Miles run/walked
3 / 100

Definitely low on this, but hoping to pick it up for the last four months of the year.

Yoga classes
N/A


Meditation/Reflection/Goal setting hours
4 / 100

Incredible but true, but I’m only in my third hour of this. But will try and put some hours up for this month. Let’s see if I don’t forget as has happened in other occasions.

PROFESSIONAL


Freelance jobs
6 of 10. Might just make the quota, but damn is it going to be a close call.

Work proposals
2 of 10 approved

8 more in the pipeline

Small ideas approved, the other 8 I’d mentioned before are still in the pipeline.

Work on portfolio
N/A If this becomes a priority, it will be treated as such, for now, no luck.





ACTIVITIES:


Surf Sessions
23 / 50

Picked it up a bit but still need to get some help from Papa Poseidon. Here’s hoping for some better luck surfwise


Swim / bodysurf / water activities
3 / 10

Have had a few fun times but it’s been some time since I did exclusive water activities.

Local tourism
N/A

No plans yet, but actually have info to remedy this. Let’s see if I stop dicking around.

Concerts
0 / 5

Even if I only have one this year, it’s Pearl Jam, so I’m good. And I actually found about some other concerts I might be able to go if I’m lucky… let’s hope for the best.


Trips
0 / 2

Actually going to Philly to watch Pearl Jam… talk about killing two birds with one stone. Can’t waittttttttttt

Writing with Pen & Paper
The book is coming along and I’m penning countless other ideas on a small notebook so I’m doing pretty good on this front, but wish I were doing better, because that would mean my book would be near complete.


Movies
18 / 40


Disctrict 9 – Odd, different, weird, intense, stimulating. Best movie ever? No. But I’m extremely happy I saw it.

Brüno - If there’s such a thing as TMI, then there has to be a TMG. Gayness takes front and center in this movie that will have you in stitches from so many things that you really shouldn’t be laughing about.

Harry potter and the Half Blood Prince – Slow paced… visually amazing but much more than a movie, it’s a visual companion to the books. Fans will love, casual fans will be confused, haters will keep hating.

Transformers 2 – Rise of the Fallen: WOW… this movie was all over the place and I can’t help but think they wanted to condense three movies into one… and it didn’t work.

Public Enemies – My expectations were so ridiculously high that it’s natural that I felt the movie blew… It’s not a terrible flick… but it just didn’t click with me on any levels and by the end, I was thinking how to pull off a Dillinger Escape while maintaining my dignity intact.

The Hangover – Pure solid screwed up gold. I laughed from start to finish and loved every second of this new reason for not wanting a Bachelor Party.

The Proposal – I was actually surprised I laughed so much in this over par chick flick. Don’t let the nature of the movie fool you, it’s funny, interesting, random and actually quite a lot of fun.

Land of the Lost – Ok so I was the only one in the theater having a super blast… sue me, but I loved this flick for it’s B movie goodness.

Up – Just the movie I wanted to see… very fun, and very beautiful visually and let me soar up as high as five million helium balloons would allow.

Paul Blart

Angels and Demons

The Wrestler

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Coraline

Slumdog Millionaire

Watchmen

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Star Trek




Watch DVD’s I’ve bought

Broken Saints – Simply put, one of the most important things I’ll ever watch in my life. Amazing and soon should be coming the live action version… let’s hope it does the animated version justice.

Lost Seasons 1-4 (Already on Season 5) – Deliciously addictive.

Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life – A true comedy classic showing just how smart stupid can be.

Twin Peaks series (both seasons+pilot) – Weird, campy, odd, interesting and definitely worth a second watch, if only to transcribe the log lady intros.

Pi – So real and weird it’s scary. Aronofsky in Black and white. Brilliant.

Escape from New York – Kurt Russell and John Carpenter can do no wrong… well in the 80’s at least.

Inland Empire – If you don’t like Lynch, there is nothing here for your enjoyment. Turn on the weird and tune out the world.

Growing Up – Concert by Peter Gabriel… simply amazing… as usual. Great music, hell of a stage, wonderful show. Nuff said.

Soda Stereo Unplugged – Hell of a concert movie… Two thumbs wayyyy up

Videogames finished
10 / 20


Zakk and Wikki – Quest for Barbaro’s Treasure – Wii – One of the most enjoyable videogaming experiences in my life. Odd, quirky and one of the games that best makes use of the Wiimote.

Metal Gear Solid Twin Snakes – Game Cube – Great game, classic storyline, steep learning curve and just plain fun.

Metal Gear Solid 2 Sons of Liberty – PS2 – Weirder storyline than the first game but better controls overall.

Metal Gear Solid 3 Snake Eater – PS2 – Best MGS I’ve played and I one of my 3 favorite boss fights ever in gaming. Memorable characters, great score, revamped controls, added features and more MGS fun than you can shake your silenced stick at.

Kingdom Hearts – It took me two years to finally decide to finish this game. Not bad at all, but for some reason I just found it hard to even want to finish the damn thing.

Final Fantasy 1 – Throwback RPG that will try your patience regarding redundant battles and possibly the weakest game ending I’ve ever been exposed to.

Jak and Daxter The Precursor Legacy – Great platforming is not easy to do and standing out is even harder but Jak’s first installment made an excellent impression on me. Fun gameplay, great graphics and just fun to play through.

Jak 2 – huge world but lack of direction takes away from this title. Much more engrossing and much more serious storyline but still very solid. My main problem was the whole hovercraft torture of the game.

Jak 3 – Takes all the problems from Jak 2 and SOLVES them. Rarely have I seen a sequel be THAT responsible in addressing all issues regarding a previous installment. The best, funniest, tightest and more entertaining Jak in the series.

Final Fantasy IV – CLASSIC RPG that truly made my day to joy. THAT was the throwback RPG I needed to play to get me in the mood of loving games again.

Currently on – Final Fantasy VI

Books read
8/20 – Read some random books, all over the place, but enjoying the reads.


2nd book of The Bartimeus Trilogy – The Golem’s Eye – Good continuation to the story but not as good as the first one.

3rd book of the Bartimeus Trilogy – Ptolemy’s Gate – A hell of an ending and the no holds barred installment of the story. Great character development, interesting twists and an ending that will have you nodding in approval, even if it is anything but Hollywood.

The Wind in the Willows – A book most people should read for the exercise of character development especially in the characters of Badger, Mole and of course, that crazy Toad. Not to forget the Water Rat, but the other characters were very complete and it was amazing to read since this is a kid’s story with all the limitations seen in most children’s book (mainly skipping months in three lines and not having a good grasp on timing).

Fahrenheit 451 – Scary how this reads like it was written yesterday. Brilliant book though the ending drags a bit. One of those books whose brilliance stems from the development much more than the ending.

Angels and Demons – Better movie than Da Vinci, but lesser a book. Some lines and scenes read like something a teenager would write to be honest. If you hate me for saying that, by all means defend the Helicopter jump scene or the last line of the book. I dare you.

Nightwatch – Excellent sci-fi fantasy read. Very different narrative and very fresh ideas from a brilliant mind from Russia.

Joker’s Asylum – Great compilation of tales of the Joker. More fuel to my crazed love for this delightful villain.

Hardy Boys – I needed to finally understand all the jokes I hear from the Hardy Boys. To put it lightly, these books are Scooby-Doo sans dog, munchie desiring hippie, hottie and lesbian. I swear I felt dumber once I read this train wreck.

Currently on – Thus Spake Zarathustra – Nietzche… yeah I’m weird like that. Going from a graphic novel, to Hardy Boys, to Nietzche. This book is brilliant by the way.



Playing guitar

Actually been playing guitar a lot more recently and I’m really happy about that.


ACQUISITIVE:


Get new computer

My comp is up and running, and I’m a cheery bugger. New antivirus and a cleanup means being connected to the world without a super inversion.


Net connection

Loving the DSL, it’s so fast, and sexy. I’d have its children.


Digital recorder

No news on this, might wait to buy a comp for that, but still on my mind. Let’s see what I do.

Digital Camera

Still haven’t bought a cam.. I suck…


MONETARY


Save Money

Baby stepping savings continues. Got some more cash flow and for next year, I’m going to need it.


Payments
Still everything’s on time, but working to further promote that.


Mom’s cakes
Officially need to reestablish my relationship with this project.



Donations
A few bucks here and there but no new contribution. Still up $200 and looking to offer some extra cash to another cause… will keep posted if there’s news on this.


KNOWLEDGE:

Learn / record songs
Have continued writing songs, but haven’t recorded anything… dang…


Learn Random Info
I’d forgotten about this and maybe I’ll use it to reach my quota. I’d said I’d look for random info and make random posts that probably no one will read, but will be a fun write for me.


Read the news
Still reading, learning, and living large.


Retake French
July ended and still no French book.. to be honest, this has definitely taken a back seat… let’s see if I can get my poo poo together.



Dance classes
Still haven’t look into that info… have to see what I do with this.



WRITING:


WAS posts
111 / 200 (as of august 30th)

Have 4 months to go, which averages to less than 25 posts a month, this is pretty much in the bag, but let’s not get too cocky.


Posts in other blogs
23 +9 / 100

Keeping quite busy in the blog writing sense of the word. This is one of three blogs, the others being Why Advertising Sucks and Laser Eater. I’m always writing on WAS but Laser Eater I have it a bit forgotten, have to change that ASAP but since I can’t write at work, then it becomes a bit harder because I don’t always get home with the urge to rant.

Finish book
Finished chapter 38. Very interesting the twists the book demands from my brain and how I just go along with it. Halfway through Chapter 39, let’s see if we can’t finish up that puppy this week. Having said that now, I probably jinxed myself.


Write short stories
0 / 10
Still at zero… have to switch tactics on myself… any suggestions… oh wait, I forgot that pretty much no one reads this blog lol. Oh well. I like being schizo like this.

Essay project
0 / 20
Zero for 20… nice… sometimes it’s impressive how much I suck.



Draft story arcs
0 / 3
I will quit dicking around with this and will organize myself during the month of August… that is an additional resolution.


Movie Script
Still pending
Let’s baby step this one ok? There’s just a lot of stuff I really have to focus on.

Progress reports
5/ 12
Because of connection and comp issues, I’ve lazed off quite a bit so I will have to make mid month reports just to be able to accomplish this goal.


Standup piece
N/A – Still haven’t found a place to put this in agenda. Actually want to re-read what I wrote and see if I can’t get inspired and rant a little more and finish the damn thing.


Be more positive
Glimpses of the old self have come around, but for the most part staying positive and making lemonade as often as possible. Some days it gets to be too much and my patience wears thin, but I guess that’s just me being intolerant to an otherwise kick-ass existence.



Forgive people
Actually got to speaking terms with one of the people that had won my scorn. Interesting interaction to be honest, let’s see how long it lasts.


Negative energy
Work has been kind of crazy and the corporate BS has gotten to me on more than one occasion, but with a change of outlook and a little prescription strength fukitol, anything is possible.


Loving my fiancée

I work hard to make her smile and enjoy life. She’s one of the greatest inspirations in my life and I can’t help but be thankful I’m marrying my muse. Love you darling.

Live Alive: Pearl Jam

While some bands quickly become one-trick ponies, incapable of altering the formula that brought them initial success, Pearl Jam has given the finger and shown that their fans deserve more than just the same old approach. Each and every album within the Pearl Jam catalogue has its own distinct flavor and amazingly, not one of them taints a musical reputation, any other 80’s or 90’s band has been able to achieve.

I don’t care if Papa Roach and Linkin Park sold a gazillion albums, and neither do they nor their fans. They have always walked to the beat of their drum and have often treaded in dangerous waters simply for the sake of honesty and artistic integrity. You simply don’t take on Ticket Master if you want people to see you. Well that’s exactly what they did. After this band found out that the monopolizing giant had added service charges to their show tickets, they canceled the summer tour and boycotted the company in protest.

That’s because this band comes alive when they’re live. They look up to the Who and Led Zeppelin who knew what it meant to deliver live. They are known for giving two encores and for some of those encores to be longer than some concerts from the likes of mega stars that didn’t have enough Fiji Water to feed their egos.

I’ve been to three Pearl Jam shows and though that may not seem like a lot, please take into account that I’m not filthy rich, that I live in Puerto Rico and that I need to invest some serious cash each and every time I’ve seen them live. By the way, each experience has not only been worth every penny; they have EACH succeeded in exceeding my expectations and have humbled me as a fan and more than once I’ve found myself torn between doing a Garth and shrieking I’m not worthy and just crying out of sheer joy.


When you think of Pearl Jam live, you need to take into account that they have what they call “two shirt nights”, where so much sweat has bled on stage that they need to change outfits just to not risk electrocution. Hell, when they have back to back nights, it’s a wonder they shower at all.

That’s why they’re my favorite band in the world. They know what they mean to their fans and they always strive to go further. They are not complacent in their relationship and constantly do things that in the short and long run will reward fans of all ages for decades to come. When you look to comparisons, you just need to look back and see the following for bands like The Who or The Grateful Dead. If you’ve ever heard the stories, you know that those fans can get a bit raucous to say the least, which is funny because being one of the Ten Clan, I can tell you that it’s an experience worth living to be in the crowd when the band is blazing through “Do the Evolution” and suddenly all lights come on and the entire crowd chants hallelujah in the über cynical ode to our wanting evolutionary cycle.

You see while religious types have church to go to, real fans have a travelling church, and in the case of Pearl Jam, it’s almost a circus. Plus, make sure to get there early because surprises tend to happen at Pearl Jam shows. Eddie comes out to play a three song acoustic set or he jams with the opening band or special guests make a special appearance truly making the word special mean something for a change. You are the fan and they are playing for you. Not twelve songs. Not Fifteen. Normally sets range upwards of 26 songs and you can bet your butt that they’re exhausted, but that doesn’t mean they won’t finish a concert with Baba O’Reilly, Porch, or Rocking in the Free World.

That’s another thing. Covers played by artists are rarely as special as the original, but with Pearl Jam, you have versions of Baba, Reign O’er Me, Crazy Mary, Masters of War, Rocking in the Free world and countless others that truly give the original a run for their money, live. You could say that such a feat says something about a band, but I disagree… I think it says everything about a band.

Live Alive: an introduction

Some bands excel at producing studio gems that will grace your collection for years and years to come. Real bands however, sweat their way to success and leave it all on the stage. They play with passion, heart, desire and energy that defy explanation.

Think Meatloaf; think Bruce Springsteen; think The Who, artists and bands that look at hour-long shows as a joke or merely a warm up. Artists that know no better way to convince you of their greatness than rewarding your hard earned, well spent money. These are the artists that inspire me the most because they aren’t just as good live, they’re better.

This occasional series will serve to highlight bands that know the true meaning of a live show.

We may live, we may die, but only a band that gives it all, can help me Live Alive.

Resolution Report! 4th installment

Number 4 in my resolution reports. Am I behind? You bet your ass, but these will come out as they have to come out. Period. It’s been a while and a lot of numbers have changed but cans till make further progress, let’s see if I can keep it up til year’s end. Will probably post midway through the month since it's my birth month and want to do this more than once.

PHYSICAL

Bicep Curls
2,010 / 5,000


Butterfly curls
2,010 / 5,000


Pushups
2,010 / 5,000


Sit-ups
4,400 / 10,000


Jumping Jacks
5,900 / 10,000


Squats
3,375 / 10,000


Miles run/walked
3 / 100

Ran two miles on Monday and basically passed out Tuesday night. Gonna try to run/walk again tomorrow. See if I can’t make a habit out of this.

Yoga classes
N/A


Meditation/Reflection/Goal setting hours
3 / 100

Incredible but true, but I’m only in my third hour of this. But will try and put some hours up for this month. Let’s see if I don’t forget as has happened in other occasions.

PROFESSIONAL


Freelance jobs
5 of 10. It’s been kind of slow to say the least. Kinda sucks for me because I could really use the extra cash, but hey, at least I’m getting time to do my own stuff right? Ummm… yeah… I didn’t think so.


Work proposals
2 of 10 approved

8 more in the pipeline

Small ideas approved, the other 8 I’d mentioned before are still in the pipeline.

Work on portfolio
N/A

Haven’t done anything particular for my portfolio and can’t say I’m yearning to do so either. If it happens, great. If not, no skin off my B-hind.

RECAP:
Freelance has been dead for three months, which sucks. Work proposals just aren’t going through because we’ve been so ridiculously swamped with work. Have to make the best out of the next couple that maybe aren’t as insane.


ACTIVITIES:


Surf Sessions
18 / 50

Had a decent surf Sunday, glad for it because I felt lost without a good session under my wing and the one before was pathetic at best.


Swim / bodysurf / water activities
3 / 10

Still at 3, but I can fix this with a couple of weekends of water activities, or that’s what I keep telling myself.

Local tourism
N/A

No plans yet, but actually have info to remedy this. Let’s see if I stop dicking around.

Concerts
0 / 5

Even if I only have one this year, it’s Pearl Jam, so I’m good. And I actually found about some other concerts I might be able to go if I’m lucky… let’s hope for the best.


Trips
0 / 2

Actually going to Philly to watch Pearl Jam… talk about killing two birds with one stone. Can’t waittttttttttt

Writing with Pen & Paper
The book is coming along and I’m penning countless other ideas on a small notebook so I’m doing pretty good on this front, but wish I were doing better, because that would mean my book would be near complete.


Movies
16 / 40


Paul Blart: Mall Cop – I thought this was going to be a gut busting good time. All that ended up getting busted was my wallet from this middle of the road ho hum movie.

Angels and Demons – I still have a review pending on this one on my other blog, I will sum it up by saying that if you’re looking for a faithful book adaptation, you’d be better off looking elsewhere.

The Wrestler – Aronofsky brilliance strikes again. He has a talent to leave your gut wrenched after the final scene of everyone of his movies, but great storytelling is something he’s REALLY strong at.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – Just in case, THIS should have been the movie of the year at the Academy Awards. Yes I enjoyed Slumdog, but it’s no Ben Button. Sorry.

Coraline – One of the most gratifying cinematographic experiences in my life. Words can’t begin to describe how much I absolutely adored this movie and as an animation feature it stands tall and proud among the elite, often times surpassing movies that made five times as much money.

Slumdog Millionaire – Great movie. Predictable at times, but great. Good music (good not great). Interesting cinematography, feel good story. Bollywood has never had such a Hollywood ending or Hollywood has never had such a Bollywood feel. I’m still debating which way is right.

Watchmen – A big blue penis could not take away from the fabulous acting of some of the most memorable comic book characters never to have been to an mutant academy.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine – THE definition of a Popcorn movie. Fast pace, rushed storyline, great special effects, good fights, and some plot holes thrown in for good measure. All in all, a good two and half star movie.

Star Trek – holy mama… let’s just sum this up by asking why wasn’t JJ Abrams hired to film the Last 3 Star Wars.

Harry potter and the Half Blood Prince – Slow paced… visually amazing but much more than a movie, it’s a visual companion to the books. Fans will love, casual fans will be confused, haters will keep hating.

Transformers 2 – Rise of the Fallen: WOW… this movie was all over the place and I can’t help but think they wanted to condense three movies into one… and it didn’t work.

Public Enemies – My expectations were so ridiculously high that it’s natural that I felt the movie blew… It’s not a terrible flick… but it just didn’t click with me on any levels and by the end, I was thinking how to pull off a Dillinger Escape while maintaining my dignity intact.

The Hangover – Pure solid screwed up gold. I laughed from start to finish and loved every second of this new reason for not wanting a Bachelor Party.

The Proposal – I was actually surprised I laughed so much in this over par chick flick. Don’t let the nature of the movie fool you, it’s funny, interesting, random and actually quite a lot of fun.

Land of the Lost – Ok so I was the only one in the theater having a super blast… sue me, but I loved this flick for it’s B movie goodness.

Up – Just the movie I wanted to see… very fun, and very beautiful visually and let me soar up as high as five million helium balloons would allow.

Watch DVD’s I’ve bought

Lost Seasons 1-4 (Already on Season 5) – Deliciously addictive.

Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life – A true comedy classic showing just how smart stupid can be.

Twin Peaks series (both seasons+pilot) – Weird, campy, odd, interesting and definitely worth a second watch, if only to transcribe the log lady intros.

Pi – So real and weird it’s scary. Aronofsky in Black and white. Brilliant.

Escape from New York – Kurt Russell and John Carpenter can do no wrong… well in the 80’s at least.

Inland Empire – If you don’t like Lynch, there is nothing here for your enjoyment. Turn on the weird and tune out the world.

Growing Up – Concert by Peter Gabriel… simply amazing… as usual. Great music, hell of a stage, wonderful show. Nuff said.

Soda Stereo Unplugged – Hell of a concert movie… Two thumbs wayyyy up

Videogames finished
10 / 20


Zakk and Wikki – Quest for Barbaro’s Treasure – Wii – One of the most enjoyable videogaming experiences in my life. Odd, quirky and one of the games that best makes use of the Wiimote.

Metal Gear Solid Twin Snakes – Game Cube – Great game, classic storyline, steep learning curve and just plain fun.

Metal Gear Solid 2 Sons of Liberty – PS2 – Weirder storyline than the first game but better controls overall.

Metal Gear Solid 3 Snake Eater – PS2 – Best MGS I’ve played and I one of my 3 favorite boss fights ever in gaming. Memorable characters, great score, revamped controls, added features and more MGS fun than you can shake your silenced stick at.

Kingdom Hearts – It took me two years to finally decide to finish this game. Not bad at all, but for some reason I just found it hard to even want to finish the damn thing.

Final Fantasy 1 – Throwback RPG that will try your patience regarding redundant battles and possibly the weakest game ending I’ve ever been exposed to.

Jak and Daxter The Precursor Legacy – Great platforming is not easy to do and standing out is even harder but Jak’s first installment made an excellent impression on me. Fun gameplay, great graphics and just fun to play through.

Jak 2 – huge world but lack of direction takes away from this title. Much more engrossing and much more serious storyline but still very solid. My main problem was the whole hovercraft torture of the game.

Jak 3 – Takes all the problems from Jak 2 and SOLVES them. Rarely have I seen a sequel be THAT responsible in addressing all issues regarding a previous installment. The best, funniest, tightest and more entertaining Jak in the series.

Final Fantasy IV – CLASSIC RPG that truly made my day to joy. THAT was the throwback RPG I needed to play to get me in the mood of loving games again.

Currently on – Final Fantasy VI

Books read
8/20 – Read some random books, all over the place, but enjoying the reads.


2nd book of The Bartimeus Trilogy – The Golem’s Eye – Good continuation to the story but not as good as the first one.

3rd book of the Bartimeus Trilogy – Ptolemy’s Gate – A hell of an ending and the no holds barred installment of the story. Great character development, interesting twists and an ending that will have you nodding in approval, even if it is anything but Hollywood.

The Wind in the Willows – A book most people should read for the exercise of character development especially in the characters of Badger, Mole and of course, that crazy Toad. Not to forget the Water Rat, but the other characters were very complete and it was amazing to read since this is a kid’s story with all the limitations seen in most children’s book (mainly skipping months in three lines and not having a good grasp on timing).

Fahrenheit 451 – Scary how this reads like it was written yesterday. Brilliant book though the ending drags a bit. One of those books whose brilliance stems from the development much more than the ending.

Angels and Demons – Better movie than Da Vinci, but lesser a book. Some lines and scenes read like something a teenager would write to be honest. If you hate me for saying that, by all means defend the Helicopter jump scene or the last line of the book. I dare you.

Nightwatch – Excellent sci-fi fantasy read. Very different narrative and very fresh ideas from a brilliant mind from Russia.

Joker’s Asylum – Great compilation of tales of the Joker. More fuel to my crazed love for this delightful villain.

Hardy Boys – I needed to finally understand all the jokes I hear from the Hardy Boys. To put it lightly, these books are Scooby-Doo sans dog, munchie desiring hippie, hottie and lesbian. I swear I felt dumber once I read this train wreck.

Currently on – Thus Spake Zarathustra – Nietzche… yeah I’m weird like that. Going from a graphic novel, to Hardy Boys, to Nietzche. This book is brilliant by the way.



Playing guitar

Actually been playing guitar a lot more recently and I’m really happy about that.


ACQUISITIVE:


Get new computer

My comp is up and running, and I’m a cheery bugger. New antivirus and a cleanup means being connected to the world without a super inversion.


Net connection

Loving the DSL, it’s so fast, and sexy. I’d have its children.


Digital recorder

No news on this, might wait to buy a comp for that, but still on my mind. Let’s see what I do.

Digital Camera

Still haven’t bought a cam.. I suck…


MONETARY


Save Money

On my way to my bank account to siphon money into my savings account. Baby steps… baby steps


Payments
Still everything’s on time, but working to further promote that.


Mom’s cakes
Officially need to reestablish my relationship with this project.



Donations
A few bucks here and there but no new contribution. Still up $200 and looking to offer some extra cash to another cause… will keep posted if there’s news on this.


KNOWLEDGE:

Learn / record songs
Have continued writing songs, but haven’t recorded anything… dang…


Learn Random Info
I’d forgotten about this and maybe I’ll use it to reach my quota. I’d said I’d look for random info and make random posts that probably no one will read, but will be a fun write for me.


Read the news
Still reading, learning, and living large.


Retake French
July ended and still no French book.. to be honest, this has definitely taken a back seat… let’s see if I can get my poo poo together.



Dance classes
Still haven’t look into that info… have to see what I do with this.



WRITING:


WAS posts
103 / 200

Past the 100 mark, which is a good sign even if there are only 5 months to go in the year. But hey, I’m sure I can pull it off.


Posts in other blogs
21 +8 / 100

Keeping quite busy in the blog writing sense of the word. This is one of three blogs, the others being Why Advertising Sucks and Laser Eater. I’m always writing on WAS but Laser Eater I have it a bit forgotten, have to change that ASAP but since I can’t write at work, then it becomes a bit harder because I don’t always get home with the urge to rant.

Finish book
Finished chapter 38. Very interesting the twists the book demands from my brain and how I just go along with it. Halfway through Chapter 39, let’s see if we can’t finish up that puppy this week. Having said that now, I probably jinxed myself.


Write short stories
0 / 10
Still at zero… have to switch tactics on myself… any suggestions… oh wait, I forgot that pretty much no one reads this blog lol. Oh well. I like being schizo like this.

Essay project
0 / 20
Zero for 20… nice… sometimes it’s impressive how much I suck.



Draft story arcs
0 / 3
I will quit dicking around with this and will organize myself during the month of August… that is an additional resolution.


WAS Movie
Still pending
Let’s baby step this one ok? There’s just a lot of stuff I really have to focus on.

Progress reports
4/ 12
Because of connection and comp issues, I’ve lazed off quite a bit so I will have to make mid month reports just to be able to accomplish this goal.


Standup piece
N/A – Still haven’t found a place to put this in agenda. Actually want to re-read what I wrote and see if I can’t get inspired and rant a little more and finish the damn thing.


Be more positive
Glimpses of the old self have come around, but for the most part staying positive and making lemonade as often as possible. Some days it gets to be too much and my patience wears thin, but I guess that’s just me being intolerant to an otherwise kick-ass existence.



Forgive people
Actually got to speaking terms with one of the people that had won my scorn. Interesting interaction to be honest, let’s see how long it lasts.


Negative energy
Work has been kind of crazy and the corporate BS has gotten to me on more than one occasion, but with a change of outlook and a little prescription strength fukitol, anything is possible.


Loving my fiancée

I work hard to make her smile and enjoy life. She’s one of the greatest inspirations in my life and I can’t help but be thankful I’m marrying my muse. Love you darling.

Antimotivationally Speaking

Go into any bookstore and you will see at least ten new self motivational books, or self help books. The rate at which this category grows on a daily basis pretty much inspires me to puke since people got motivated, wrote a motivational book and are raking in the millions.

So what if I can justify the existence of a self help book even if someone uses it as a literary crutch to replace a bible with. People seem to overlook the fact that motivation comes from inspiration and that changes from one person to the next. I say unmotivate yourself into spending money on a motivation book. Go to Barnes and Noble, browse the title, get the jist of it, take notes if you want and get on cracking with your life. I know you're also extremely busy because you have work to do, stuff to by and children to leave at a day care, but seriously, take two minutes from your oh so busy life, analyze yourself and know that in less than one minute you already know five things you want to change about yourself.

Often I've been recommended by Kool aid chugging people to read, listen to or watch the Secret. It'll change my outlook on life, it'll help me achieve all that I want to achieve and be all I can be (Yo Joe). To these people who have recommended this piece of motivationess I have one thing I'd like to clear up for you:

Thinking positively will not do anything for you. Nothing. Absolute zero Kelvin nothing in the spectrum of life. It's the same as attributing someone getting better from health due EXCLUSIVELY to the power of prayer.

Now that you have been able to read that and formulate your opinion of how much of a Debbie Downer I am, let me offer you the second half of that thought.

Thinking positively will do nothing for you, but ACTING positively will yield results faster than a speeding bullet. Help an old lady cross the street and you've instantaneously made someone's day a little brighter. Say good morning, good afternoon, good evening or just a cheery hello with a smile, and I guarantee your odds will be better to obtain a positive client employee interaction because it applies both ways. Hold a door, call a friend, tell your mom you love her, slap your dad's hand away and give him a hug, do something for Christ's Sake. But J, a positive mindset will allow you to do so much more... Well not if you don't do anything.

You want a key to happinness, it's actually very simple but it'll take some getting used to... do something without expecting something for that action because once you beging expecting, waiting for, desiring or wanting to force a reaction, you are lost onto the world.

But no. People need to read books, take yoga classes, eat yogurt that regulates their digestive system and need a crutch, an external push or an incentive to do something that should be done for their own benefit and for their own evolution as a human being. So by all means, unmotivate yourself if it'll help you hit rock bottom, ground your feet and start doing things and making decisions without depending on feedback or approval to do so.

Algunos padres están de madre

Sólo hay que caminar por plaza, un cine o un parquecito para rascarte la cabeza en torno a la supuesta crianza que ofrecen algunos padres de este país. Yo sé que no siendo padre hiere mis derecho de expresar mi opinión sobre esto, pero siendo tío a la tercera potencia y viendo lo que logró mi madre con sus tres criaturas, no puedo dejar de cosas que hacen otros padres y mirar al suelo con vergüenza ajena.

Es triste que el único requisito para ser un padre es la habilidad de fecundar un óvulo porque verdaderamente hay momentos en donde quisiera que hiciera falta una licencia para el embarazo. Cursos preparatorios que instruyen sobre la crianza al igual que los ejercicios de respiración que no se sentirán como si ayudaran mucho cuando defecas un coco. El desbalance es increíble y veo como padres se vuelven en déspotas de la crianza o en víctimas de la furia de las perretas. O resuelven todo con un manoplazo o dependen de los time outs y en darle lo que pida el niño sin aportar nada a su carácter. Cierto, más fácil dicho que hecho, ¿pero en serio que la única respuesta que voy a recibir es que no entiendo porque no soy padre? Sí, reconozco que hay chiquillos que son difíciles, pero tienen que haber mejores maneras de educar a éstos chicos.

Por un lado, los padres reposteros que reparten más galleta que un enano de Keebler. Perdóname, pero una galleta a tiempo sí puede salvar a un niño de malos pasos, pero una sobredosis le enseña que violencia física tiene efectos y rinde resultados. Las relaciones se cortan y en donde se supone haber amor, hay resentimiento y odio.

En la otra tangente están los padres tan pendangos que dejan que un hijo le grite en público y hacen suficientes cosas para demostrar por qué no es buena idea dejar un hijo más tiempo en una égida infantil que con su familia. Después en el cine haciendo alboroto y no tienes ninguna crítica constructiva como por ejemplo que se calle la dichosa boca y se comporte? ¿No? ¿Nada? Qué bonitoo.... Así cualquiera es padre o madre. Si el único requisito es cargar la bola de bowling y luego depositar la criatura al mundo para lloverle con juguetes, dinero, dulces y lo que pida contar de que se calle, pues no le va a ir muy bien en la vida y peor aún, yo me lo tendré que calar en un cine cercano o en un avión en donde demuestra que las regulaciones de los aviones no le aplican a mascotas infantiles, porque así mismo los tratan sus amos/padres.

Simplemente pienso que tienen que haber mejores maneras de criar, pero con el calibre de egoísta que rige las tierras del área metropolitana, no me debería sorprender... y en realidad no me sorprende... pero si me decepciona.

En última instancia, creo que mi sentimiento se puede resumir haciendo una adaptación de un lema pasado de la Universidad del Sagrado Corazón:

Padres defectuosos, hijos defectuosos.

Ojalá se ponga de moda romper este ciclo.

Pearl Jam is not "Returning to Form"

You see to return to form, you have to lose it. You have to slip up. You have to do something wrong. Pearl Jam has done neither. True, they may have avoided writing another Ten, but for someone who has been a fan for seventeen years, I know I'm biased, but I also know I'm honest, and there is nothing Perl Jam has done wrong... well maybe "Hey Foxymophandlemama, That's Me", but that's besides the point. No other band could make me prouder to be a fan, a biased, unruly no nonsense tolerating fan. People say everything has sucked since Ten, and I kindly refer them to their cd collection including Limp Bizkit, Good Charlotte, Story of the Year, and the Now music series.

Seriously, if you're not a fan, that's kosher, just don't go trying to rain on my parade because you can and will be ignored, but the memory of you will stick out like some ungodly dump that had me crawling on the floor while wiping.

Are some albums better than others... well there's actually no answer to this question. You can say some albums were more accesible, poppier, harder or mellower... but better? Well no. Music wise they always deliver and they go through different phases, liking to play different things. This isn't Metallica cutting their hair and playing something that sounds like what's out there. They've NEVER played like what's out there and they've always played what they've wanted to play.

You could maybe say they're a little too political for you but I can't help but want music with a message in my collection. People often scoff at some of their titles and to me, every album has meant something to me in different points in my life. Ten was my first rock album and I was beginning a long and gratifying relationship. Vs has the edge and anger that was coming to in me at my early teens yet had beautiful tracks that to this day make me breathe deep and just reflect on my life. Vitalogy sounded like it came from the 70's rock and 80's punk era respectively and during the only time I've ever contemplated suicide, their music didn't pull me out of the gutter, but it did help me piece shit in my head that wasn't making sense. No Code I didn't even know it was coming out and I stumbled on it on its release day at Spec's and I've never had a more randomly pleasant surprise than having an album from my favorite band just pop up in front of me. From this album I have special love from In My Tree, Off he Goes and Present Tense... not to mention that when I die I want Around the Bend to be playing. Then I fizzled slightly on Pearl Jam for some reason and I still listened to them, but something had skipped at beat.... then came yield... and that fire that burned so fiercely in me erupted like some dormant volcano that woke from a Coma. I'd never been that amped to have Pearl Jam in my life and I found myself backtracking to buy all the singles and have PJ binges that would last weeks. I played yield so much I thought it was going to burn right through, but it didn't. I felt inspired, energized and I was given to fly. Then came Binaural... an album I initially didn't totally get. I enjoyed it don't get me wrong... but it didn't click with me until about a year later when I found myself writing and listening to the album... then I hit repeat all and after five listens I realized that it clicked and that though a bit of a test, it finally settled into my soul with all my Pearl Jam memories. Then came Riot Act, an album that isn't my favorite through and through, but that has enough jems for me to enjoy. What was different for me on this album though, was that I finally realized that the album was just the beginning and that these songs demanded to be listened to live... which I did, and I found great appreciating for the live demos found on the album, and the scorching numbers that were kind enough to explode my head. Then came the Avocado and I was amped again... I'd been amped since Yield and it's gotten more intense as time has passed. i played World Wide Suicide to no end but found great satisfaction in Big Wave, Inside Job and Come Back. The whole album is solid through and through... but those foud tracks begged me to hit replay. Then we have present day. I heard Got Some, DVR'd the performance and have listened to that song well past 50 times. I've heard the fixer on their site and was amazed at how happy Ed sounded... damn... I don't think I could remember when Ed sounded that happy in a song and I not only don't mind, but happilly jump on the wagon and smile as I jump up and down like some ridiculous teenager who wears clothes that fit him poorly and who is battling pubescent acne. Now comes Speed of Sound... This song seems like a song that will resonate with me for years to come... It is in the vein of the Into the Wild soundtrack, whic means mellow, folksy, and a song to enjoy over a cup of coffee if you're alone.

That's not counting the side projects, soundtrack appearances, and collaborations all members of the band have done throughout the years. For my part, this relationship keeps getting better and I can't help but send good thoughts on a wave to my unknown friends. I'd write something like keep true to yourselves, but you don't need a random blogger fan saying this and the genuine fire that is your integrity burns bright. So I finish this post with well wishes of great waves and great times.

Cheers

Pearl Jam - Speed of Sound Scavenger fun

So i was a bit late into getting my first listen of Pearl Jam's new track titled Speed of Sound. Now before anyone goes thinking I have education problem, no I did not take four days to find all the images to unlock the downloadable track... oh wait, I get ahead of myself. If you didn't know, Pearl Jam is releasing an album. If you didn't know about that then you might not know that they debuted one of the tracks on their album on Conan Obrien's debut on the Tonight Show. The audio was weird but the song insisted on being awesome, and it succeeded. If you didn't know that, then you probably didn't know that they released a new single on their website and that is already on pre sale as well as the album. And if you didn't know any of that, you probably had no idea that they had a scavenger hunt where your reward for finding all nine pictures of the cover art is a music download.

If you didn't know any of this and are still reading, then I'm impressed because I wouldn't believe you were interested in this band if you didn't know all of that. For your info, Pearl Jam hid nine images from their album throughout the web. I could give all the links to all the pictures, but I seriously think that defeat the purpose and takes away half the fun. Is this an innovative, crazy out there idea... not really. It turns out that Muse did it and you could win a free Dr. Pepper... but since Pearl Jam does not have a bar code on their taint, your reward should you choose to finish the hunt is a download of the demo version of a great song.

I for one am happy with the hunt, with the song and with this band. I proudly proclaim they are my favorite band, I'm going to watch them live for the fourth time and I can't help but smile with every memory that has anything to do with these guys. I've read some people think the hunt was lame, that they didn't like the song and yadda yadda and bull crap. The tendency of people just wanting to be haters and being major douche debbie downers is just insulting to someone who is trying to become more optimistic and for the most part is happy to let people enjoy their cup of tea, especially when it's not mine.

There are so many people that insist that Pearl Jam hasn't put out a great album since Ten that I just have to scratch my head everytime I see their Creed rocks T-shirts. For my part, I'm passing on the hating and am just smiling at the speed of sound... and I suggest you get cracking on that scavenger hunt so you can do the same.

cheers

I close my eyes and hear thunder

A while back I wrote this in my other blog, but I felt the need to post it here for memento sake.

____________________________________________________________________________________

In the world of boxing, becoming a belt holder has quickly become immaterial to a certain degree. Sanctioning bodies have done their best to work against a sport I love but in the last year and a half, catch weights and fighters deciding to fight the best and only the best have returned to the scene. Fighters like Manny Pacquiao and Juan Manuel Marquez are fighting the best of the best and beating them. Titles are being ignored and immortality is the gold on everyone's mind.

In a sport that is beautiful in its brutality though, few people made me love boxing more than Arturo 'Thunder' Gatti. He showed the value of resolve, courage, and sheer heart. His defense? Forgettable. His offense? Anything but. Proclaimed as the Blood and Guts champion, Gatti did things almost alien to many of the flashier fighters of the sport: He spoke with his fists much more than he did with his mouth. His idea of showboating was taking brutal punishment only to flash out a perfect left hook that had his opponent wondering who the current president was. He was the type of boxer that makes you appreciate the sweet science just as much as his fights showed what mountains could be climbed out of sheer will.

Was Gatti the greatest boxer in the world? No. Of course not. He was simply one of the greatest boxers to watch. Plain and simple. Hittable, vulnerable and brave to a fault. If ever there was a boxer to always go out on his shield and never on his stool, look no further. He was the guy with the lacking skillset but the tenacity to take five shots to give you one of those perfect left hooks.

In a career that transitioned from the 90's to the 2000's, Gatti fought like it was 1950 and looked the part, having slick hair, suits and a face that wouldn't have been out of place next to the likes of Al Capone.

On May 2002, I was fortunate enough to have my tv on HBO and saw that the card would have a guy named Arturo Gatti face off another guy named Micky Ward. The names were familiar since Micky had already been in fight of the year winners or candidates. SO I thought I was going to see a great fight. I simply had no pre-conception that I was about to watch history in the making and a fight I'd be telling my grand children about. If I had to pick my top five fights in my life off the top of my head, you'd see: Leonard VS Hagler, Marquez VS Pacquiao 1, Trinidad VS Vargas, Marquez VS Diaz, and Gatti VS Ward 1. After I start thinking I remember Foreman VS Ali, Ali VS Frazier 1, Barrera VS Morales 1 and 3, Morales VS Pacquiao 1, Judah VS Cotto, Argueyo VS Pryor, Chavez VS Taylor, Hagler VS Hearns, and countless others. But off the top of my head, those five fights jump out because it was anyone's match until they ended.

Gatti VS Ward 1 has the distinction of being considered fight of the century simply because it was a power punch bonanza and the fact that neither man got knocked out in ANY of the three fights is beyond comprehension, but that first fight... it was something special, and in my room, thousands of miles away, I was a part of that... and I felt special for it.

I've watched the fight in its entirety nine times, the most I've ever watched any fight and I'm still amazed. Much credit also has to go to Frank Cappucino for letting history be made. When people thought the fight had been stopped, you could clearly hear Frank Cappucino say "The fight ain't over". But the sheer grit of both Ward and Gatti are something to behold. In round 4, Gatti connected a low blow that would have made Andrew Golotta proud. After miscommunication, Ward did not get the five minutes a boxer is allowed to recover, the bell rings, he goes to the corner and when asked what to do, he replies by saying, I'm good to go. Gatti for his part took Ward's signature left hook about twenty times too often and finally took a knee. He didn't crumble, he didn't wilt, he just took a knee, beat the 8 count and proceeded to offer up more punishment. I have truly NEVER seen a tug of war battle as fierce as this fight and momentum changed at a dizzying pace.

It's the type of fight I wish I could have shared with my grandfather. In round 9, heralded by many present as the round of the century (although round five is amazing as well), over 100 power punches were connected and how any of the two fighters could continue or even want to continue, is baffling. In a time where some people quit because they broke their hand, or they got hit low, or they're tired, these two men had the audacity to come back for another round and two follow-up fights that cemented their place in boxing history.

Earlier today I found out Arturo Gatti was found dead in brazil.

That sentence alone forced me to almost take a knee. I've felt the urge to cry but haven't. After all, if people could weep over Michael Jackson, I could shed a tear in the name of one of my favorite boxers of all time. But that would be a disservice to one of the fiercest warriors ever to enter a squared circle, so I've held out. I've held out because that's what he would have done. He would have taken it. He would recognize that it hurt. That it hurt a lot and that it could make him go down, but he wouldn't as long as his will and his body could hold out. That's because that's the type of boxer he was. He was a fan favorite because yes he fought for fame and money, but the way he fought was exclusively for the fans and in the world of boxing, we were all champions and had a taste of gold every time he laced his gloves, started to walk to the ring, and we could hear the immortal riff from AC/DC with Brian Johnson calling out his real name. Not the one he was given when he was a baby. Not a nickname from his teens. His real name. His warrior name.

Thunder...

I close my eyes... and in my memories and in my heart, I hear thunder... and I take a knee.

Life is too short to go this fast

If you think about the rate at which we live at, well you'd realize that there are no first or second gears. Everything is third on up, everything is on turbo and life is squandered day by day by being in a constant state of rush. That we survive every day is a miracle in itself, that we do it, living, reacting, acting, deciding and multitasking at the speed we do is just beyond comprehension.

In an average day we see at least 400 attempts at someone selling us something. Think that number is overblown, then just count the outdoor media you come in contact with and realize that the real number is probably twice as much. We get assaulted with messages from all sides, at all times and it won't be long before air conditioners come equipped with discount models that offer adverts while you sleep. From cars to margarine and anything in between, before and after, we are being pitched at non-stop.

Add to that the amount of tasks we accomplish in a week and if you break it down task by task you realize that you're just one little machine pumping instant tasks like some hot dog machine. It gets to a point where we almost seem automated. Before long we start forgetting random things because we're so hellbent on doing things faster and faster that we're not even sure if we registered correctly. Don't quite get where I'm getting at? Well let's have a quiz. Answer the following 20 questions and below you will see a point scale that will correllate to your supposed level of disconnection with your life. Don't look for answers, don't double check, just answer or try to answer the questions. If you can, that's a point in your favor, if you find yourself struggling to answer any of these questions, well you don't earn anything. Give yourself five to ten seconds to answer the question, if you take more, it doesn't count. Let's see how you do.

1. What did you have for lunch?

2. What color socks did you have on during the day?

3. When was the last time you cut your toenails?

4. What's your social security number?

5. Do you question if you closed your house door, garage door or stove on at least three times a week?

6. Have you woken up on, showered, gotten dressed and ready for work only to realize it's Saturday?

7. When was the last time you spoke to your parents?

8. When is your mother's birthday?

9. When is your anniversary?

10. Off the top of your head, what were the last five movies you saw in the theater?

11. What songs have you listened to today?

12. What did you watch on tv last time you sat in front of the tube?

13. Do you watch tv, listen to music, facebook and skype at the same time?

14. When is your own birthday?

15. When was the last time you washed your car?

16. What do you weigh?

17. What size shoe are you?

18. What shampoo do you use?

19. When was the last time you changed your tooth brush?

20. How many times have you dialed your extension or your ATM card number into your microwave?


RESULTS:

20-17 points: You are fairly well grounded. You don't believe in the zodiac horoscope and you're aware of your surroundings.

16-12 points: Might have a little pecadillo regarding multitasking, but you are still functional.

11-7 points: You were an overachieving C student that got B's based on luck, cramming and cosmic energies unknown to you.

6-3 points: You can barely tie your own shoes, your life is the lost remote control in the sofa.

2-1 points: You manage to stay alive because lady luck is generous.

0 points: how did you even get to the end of this post.


So next time someone insists on being in a hurry, let them pass and take the time to realize life can really let you pass it by.

Cheers