Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Existential Rant #1

Morning commutes are truly the purgatory between freedom and salaried slavery. It is the time when your thoughts are truly your own and interruptions are limited to subway stops, lane changes or any particular activity related to your preferred method of transportation. Images and words simmer in your still loading mind and things become clearer while at the same time confusing. Mental chatter phases in and out and you realize so many things that you’ll forget in the coming minutes. Universal epiphanies abound but you have no way of recording it and it’s sobering in the sense that while prepping up to enter the routine, your mind revel s in the river of thought that soon will be honed into a stream. Thought after thought churns and you don’t care about opinions or hearsays or anything. You just are, the world is, the universe will be. Anything is possible and the only thing sacred is this revelatory moment where you grasp the aether, drink of life and acquiesce to the mores of the mundane.

Love becomes even more abstract but strangely tangible, as does happiness, dejectedness, frustration or despair. You realize your happy or not and you can kind of figure things out because you’re still half asleep and your defenses are down. It’s too hard to face yourself when you’ve had your morning coffee and your shot of adrenaline from the first phone call, email or job scheduled for the morning. It is your job to not look past any of these obstacles but to rummage in the unconscious that you’re so eager to leave behind so you can snuggle in the cozy repose of the familiar.

Before you are bombarded by adverts and messages, appreciate the lucid brutality of your unawakened self. Swill the sour taste out of your mind and disorganize your life to the point where you really grasp what matters in your life. Only in chaos can some things really become clear, and though frightening, it is liberating.

It’s ok to hate yourself a little, just don’t forget to also love yourself. The point being that you need to appreciate your virtues while willing yourself to remedy the things that bring you down a level in the evolutionary staircase. So take a step in the right direction, whatever that may be for you, and forget to think to truly come in contact with brilliance.

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