Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Be a kid again

People are too serious too often. I’m inching my way towards thirty and yes I’m one of those people who work too much but I still try to take care of the inner child that needs some TLC from time to time. Every day I see more of the people I know losing touch with their inner kid and becoming 100% responsible and not enjoying their lives. It’s pretty much professional nature in the 21st century. Work, work, workety work. Look serious, look responsible, huff and puff, get lower back pain and forget that you ever played with toys. I say nay to that and offer a variety of things you can and should do to wake that inner kid who could press charges on you for being such a poor host.

1. Tickle yourself. How long has it been since you’ve seen how much you can tickle yourself? Most people I know have tried it once. It’s stupid, retarded and pointless. It’ll also help you crack down the wall of seriousness you’ve mounted in an attempt to do things that you think will be worthwhile down the road. Take the stick out of your posterior and tickle yourself sonny, you’ve pinched yourself enough.

2. Walk like a total retard. Clasp your hands like a crab, do an Indian rain dance, do a jumping jack every thirty four steps or do jazz hands for 3 consecutive minutes.

3. Put round shaped cereal up your nose. You know you did it and you also know you almost choked doing so, but it was still fun, disgusting and at the very least you’ll laugh your ass off remembering how your parents freaked out when they saw you with two nostril blockers courtesy of Cocoa Puffs.

4. Dress up like a ninja, a cowboy, an Indian or a princess. Dress up, be goofy, say retarded stuff like “Ninja vanish” or “Help me Romeo”.

5. Make drawings of people you can’t stand at work. Put names to them and doodle away. Don’t use Photoshop. Use a #2 pencil and go back to your roots. Be extra mean and let it out of your system, just make sure you don’t do it at work.

6. Do cannonballs next to old people close to pools. The rules you enjoyed as a child are just as fun to break now.

7. Make believe. I’m not talking about role-playing with your significant other though that’s cool if you’re into that. I’m talking about treating your closet like a cave. Try doing this with chores. Imagine you need to wipe out or clean something in your house or else the Plorithians will invade your space time continuum and take your pet yorkie hostage.

8. Ramble out loud in the car. Hey, if people can look schizophrenic with their Bluetooths (Blueteeth), you can always one up them. Make funny voices, change your tone and manner.

9. Read out loud. Do this especially if you were bad doing that as a child. Don’t take something that simple for granted and just do it. You’ll feel silly, but who’s to say that being serious all the time isn’t ten times as silly.

10. Watch cartoons. They are not just for children. Learn to find joy and laughter where it used to be. Things didn’t change, you just insisted on being a tight ass.

11. If you see a puddle, splash in it. Don’t think of avian flu, just get dirty. Actually, if you have a back yard and it’s raining. Play in the mud. It did wonders for people at Woodstock and high class people pay top dollar for what you can get free on a sloppy day.

12. Read Calvin and Hobbes… you’ll notice a slight change in perspective.

13. Read the Hobbit, the Phantom Tollbooth, the Harry Potter Series and comics. There’s more creativity to these works of art than most “adults” give them credit for.

14. Brush your teeth until you have a bunch of foam and then bark like an idiot.

15. Buy cereal that doesn’t have granola in it. The more colorful it makes your poop, the better.

16. Do the Pee-wee Herman dance while trying to keep a straight face.

17. Take a bunch of potato chips in your mouth then say the word fantastic over and over.

18. Play lava… that’s where you have to step inside the lines or else you’ll melt on lava. Climbing up on ledges gets you extra points.

19. Put your hand inside your shirt, under your arm and do an armpit fart. Do a couple dozen.

20. Have a pillow fight. Try and dress up in Spider Man Pj’s.

The point is to remember being a kid. Not sure if anyone is reading, has read, or will read this, but feel free to add any other silly things you can think of to wake up that inner kid that’s been buried in jobs, interviews, meetings and the drab nature of being your average adult.

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