What the hell is artisan water

In a world where we can literally sell ANYTHING and get away with it, water has become the weapon of choice to reach new heights of idiocy. It wasn’t that long ago when I remember that I could drink water from a garden hose and only have to worry about maybe adding a rubbery hint to my flatulence. But nay, those days are long gone and we are left with a world that has to pay for something that pretty much makes ¾ of our body.

Oh and if you haven’t noticed, business is booming. From Dasani to Naya to Aquafina, Deer Spring, Evian and Fiji water, that little cocktail consisting of two parts hydrogen to one part oxygen sells like hotcakes and just like cars, apparel and neighborhoods, each brand caters to a specific person looking for basic hydration.

If you’re like me, you go to Costco, pick the cheapest brand that doesn’t taste like plasma from a Styrofoam monster and chug away, often refilling from your work’s ample and free water supply. But of course, this isn’t enough for some people and for these little wonders, we came up with artisan water.

In case you’re wondering, artisan water is not made by artists. It is also not the water used to clean brushes between color strokes while painting on a canvas. Just in case, it isn’t water used to make moving pieces of art either. In fact, there is actually no such thing as artisan water. What some people sell as artisan water is actually artesian water, which comes from ground wells dug up. Artisan water is just the trendy name given to the water type just to sell easier and pique intrigue in passersby from around the world.

Which brings me to one more point: just how much are we willing to pay for water in the long run? A bottle of Pellegrino can set you back almost $6 (US) in some places. Fiji water goes upwards of $2 (US) in most places. Dasani sells for $1-$2 depending on your venue and guess what, it’s treated tap water (I say treated because purified this ain’t, and in case you were wondering, Dasani is a made up word). The varying hydro markets shift and change with the greatest of ease and in the end, what do we get? Something that we used to be able to get from the faucet for little or no cost.

So next time your sipping on your premium water of choice, just remember that once upon a time, water, unlike you, was free.